Judgment is a thought process.  It is figuring out how best to survive. It is taking all things in consideration and predicting an outcome. Now if the outcome falls short of your expectations, your judgment was off.

If your teen ends up in the hospital with a fractured skull because he accepted a ride from Joe who came to a sudden stop on a snowplow; his judgment was off.  He did not predict that Joe would tackle that snow plow.  He could have, he knew Joe to be reckless so and so, but his car was cool and there was a girl watching him.  A nice girl who would no doubt remember his sliding into that car. This would make it so much easier to talk to her later about the prom, and possibly kiss her, and maybe score.  THAT was his thought process. That was how he figured he would survive – in Lucy’s arms.

So, we do not need to put your boy on a short leash, curtail his social activities, forbid him to see Joe, and give him a stern talking-to; we need to have him look at what he was thinking when he got into that car.

Now, “having a look” only happens when one feels safe, never when one is being challenged.

A workable approach is “tell me how getting into Joe’s car was a good idea.  You must have thought that it was a good idea, or you wouldn’t have done it”.   He’ll tell you.  You may have to word it a few different ways, but eventually he’ll brighten up and tell you about his odds with Lucy.

Lying there in a cast, he is keenly aware that things didn’t work out, and (if you don’t make him wrong) he’ll be open to advice on more effective ways of getting Lucy’s attention.

We are all just trying to survive, and we do it with the data that we have.  He didn’t know that women fall in love on the dance floor, now he does.  You had a man-to-man with him, and he is learning swing dancing and a box-step or something where you can hold her really close to slow music.

He has a way of being cause, because you taught him.

There are so many situations where a teen flounders for lack of understanding, but will he listen to you?  Oh, no! 

Read my article “Correcting  your Teen” – there is a way to do it.

Teaching  IS  the route to that judgment we need to instill.

Love, Joke